Spring - 2010 Newsletter
This issue:
How to avoid misunderstandings and become a more effective communicator.
How to have fun over the summer break while keeping kids on track for return to school in the fall
How to avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings in communication...
A good deal of the work we do with people in therapy has to do with improving the quality of their relationships by helping them to become more skilled communicators. Often times all that is needed to become a "great communicator" is to attend to these six key ingredients for effective and sensitive communication.
1. "Who am I speaking to?" FOCUS your attention on the person you are communicating with and your relationship with them. Sometimes we can speak harshly or with condescension, if we take a moment to consider who we are speaking to, we can soften the way we present even critical things.
2. "What am I not seeing?" INQUIRE before reacting, try and step back before responding to a tense situation. Someone late? Failed to show up for a date? Before we attack stop and think about what we can ask to better understand the situation.
3. "Where will my words lead?" CHOOSE words carefully, recognize that language has an impact on the way our communications are received. Some things we say cannot be taken back, remember we catch many more flies with sugar than we do with vinegar!
4. "How will they react to my words?" SPEAK KINDLY always try and choose your words bearing in mind how the other person is likely to react to what you are saying and how you are saying it.
5. "Why must I say it at all?" AVOID saying unnecessary things, you have a license to remain quiet! For example, if your spouse apologizes for something, why berate them for a mistake they already acknowledged making?
6. "When do I say it?" CHOOSE an appropriate time. Timing is everything, discuss problems during calm moments not during the heat of a debate, and remember there is no such thing as a bad time for a kind word or compliment.
How to keep the kids focused over the summer break and ready to return to school in the fall.
The summer break should be a time of fun, relaxation, and the building of family memories. In order to minimize distress, maintain all the gains your child(children) have made this school year, and have fun we offer the following suggestions:
1. MAINTAIN consistent sleep and wake times. We all feel better with consistent rest and maintaining a reasonable routine will make it that much easier to be ready to get on the bus that first morning in September.
2. PLAN out a schedule of activities so that there is not too much idle time.
3. DEVELOP a "go-to" list of rainy day activities so that when you are cooped up with the kids over the summer there are ample things to choose from other than a video game!
4. INCORPORATE some reading or other light academic activities across the summer to keep young minds working. Let the kids choose the books to help keep them engaged, some libraries have really fun story times or summer reading programs as does Barnes and Noble. It really does not matter what they are reading as long as they are enjoying it!
5. FOSTER independence, provide the kids with choices for how they would like to spend their time, this way when they enjoy themselves they have you to thank and themselves to feel good about for having an impact in their own life!
6. CONTINUE any behavior modification plans, behavior charts, or reward systems to insure that everyone stays on task and continues to progress.
